Ebbert, Lawson

Whattup Sages, Well. This one was a certified Brazil week. Lemme break it down: Literally Castlevania So last week, we found a joint in our mailbox. Our little complex has only two houses: ours and our evil neighbor's (the one who falsely accused us of breaking a mirror when we were literally sleeping and who I was already pretty sure was a vampire). So, I guess you could call it a  joint  mailbox. Anywho, that's just whatever. The world turns, cows make milk, Kung Fu Panda 2 is the best one, and our neighbor smokes weed. Big deal. ...only this week, we also found one of the drums that they use in the big macumba warehouses sitting in that same little stairway that leads to our house. For those of you who don't know, Brazil has this fun tradition called macumba of big witch gatherings where they play drum music and chant super loud and also smaller gatherings where they sacrifice stuff (small animals, food, babies if you're in Chile, etc) to Satan.  So, she's a witc...

"Wait a minute. Wasn't P-day yesterday?" Whattup Archlords, Well welcome back folks! Here's some more classic " vague Elder  Ebbert  statements which cryptically hint at the events of the week because he's lazy and can't be bothered to talk about everything in detail ': -Fasting works! -Kids know more than we know -We still have not negotiated with that one gang -The institute manuals are epic -I'm still tired lol but its ok we chilling Ok I'm gonna talk about the institute manuals again because seriously if you want to get more out of your scripture study or just know how Jesus is going to be a Dyson Sphere in New Jerusalem (Isaiah is crazy dude), go and use the institute manuals. They're in Gospel Library under "Books and Lessons" > "Institute". Or, it is equally possible to encounter the manuals by clicking on the 90th letter ' e ' in this email. Your choice. The Forging of Faith To give you the experience...

Whattup Overlords, I'm tired! But not in a bad way. In a "wow I did so much this week" kind of way. It's this interesting state of being where I'm constantly exhausted, in pain, and highly motivated. It's kind of like being on fire all the time. I love it. So not only did we work super hard this week, but we had a bunch of crazy stuff happen. A couple of these things I am obliged not to talk about, and I only mention it because I want to torture all of you with the seductive scent of salivating secrecy. But I guess I can talk about some of the other, way less interesting stuff. Brazil Moment So we're at the house of our recent convert Higor, and we're gonna revise his plan because my color pen wasn't enough incentive to get him to read and pray daily. But first, we have to start a fast so that we can receive revelation to guide our area and my comp can have the spiritual strength to fight demons. So, we go out back, sit down because there's now...

Whattup Underlords, Wednesday July 5, 2023 Easily the worst day of my mission, quite possibly one of the worst days of my life. We had interviews with our new president and a district council which were great, but afterwards we did literally nothing but study and eat in members' houses. We had dinner for like two hours and I'm not gonna mince words with you guys: I was miserable. It was all I could do to just sit there. Luckily, the worst day was compensated at the very end with one of the best prayers of my life which stopped me from breaking completely, but yeah it was a struggle for real. Thursday July 6, 2023 My dear sister (my actual sister, not like a sister missionary) passed me an idea to have a journal in which I set a goal with God each day, reflecting on the goal at night before I go to bed. This was the day I started, and my goal was literally just "forgive my companion". At 10 o'clock we had a meeting to announce transfers, and we got the news that I ...

Whattup Truegolds, Two weeks ago, I committed to writing about something cool instead of all this lame self-introspection and improvement crap. Then, last week, I wrote the opening line of this email... and promptly proceeded to entirely forget about emails as I worked on a nerd project for like five hours. Unfortunately, this means I am not keeping my commitments, which puts me in a club with just about all of our investigators. Anywho, apologies for that. But I guess I'm not really sorry cuz I'm also gonna continue to not write about fun stuff lol. I'm pretty exhausted in the physical, emotional, and spiritual categories. I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure that's like, all the categories. Suffice it to say that we have moved on from D&C 121:43-45 to D&C 121:6-9. (I'll give you all the opportunity of a little scripture study to figure that bit out.) And my commitment this week is that one day... one day I will write a purely, unadulteratedly, consumm...