Demon Slaying Detectives Inc.
Whattup Sages,
Well. This one was a certified Brazil week. Lemme break it down:
Literally Castlevania
So last week, we found a joint in our mailbox. Our little complex has only two houses: ours and our evil neighbor's (the one who falsely accused us of breaking a mirror when we were literally sleeping and who I was already pretty sure was a vampire). So, I guess you could call it a joint mailbox.
Well. This one was a certified Brazil week. Lemme break it down:
Literally Castlevania
So last week, we found a joint in our mailbox. Our little complex has only two houses: ours and our evil neighbor's (the one who falsely accused us of breaking a mirror when we were literally sleeping and who I was already pretty sure was a vampire). So, I guess you could call it a joint mailbox.
Anywho, that's just whatever. The world turns, cows make milk, Kung Fu Panda 2 is the best one, and our neighbor smokes weed. Big deal.
...only this week, we also found one of the drums that they use in the big macumba warehouses sitting in that same little stairway that leads to our house. For those of you who don't know, Brazil has this fun tradition called macumba of big witch gatherings where they play drum music and chant super loud and also smaller gatherings where they sacrifice stuff (small animals, food, babies if you're in Chile, etc) to Satan.
So, she's a witch in addition to being a vampire. That's less chill, but still doesn't matter too much.
...then, she sacrificed a chicken by fire on our front porch and brought a demon into our house.
There's not really much more context I can give to that. And if you think I'm making this up, you can tell I'm not because the nonsense that I make up makes way less sense. Just ask anybody who's played in one of my D&D campaigns. Or read anything I've ever written.
...then, she sacrificed a chicken by fire on our front porch and brought a demon into our house.
There's not really much more context I can give to that. And if you think I'm making this up, you can tell I'm not because the nonsense that I make up makes way less sense. Just ask anybody who's played in one of my D&D campaigns. Or read anything I've ever written.
But basically, I was on a division with the lovely Elder Slade. We couldn’t sleep because of a couple things, and then he got pre-first vision Joseph Smith'd when he went to pray. Eventually we slept like babies- and then found burned feathers and tendony bits on our porch in the morning.
Also, we're pretty sure she did another macumba because of a couple things that happened yesterday.
Man. She has no idea that she just picked a demon-fight with Elder Medeiros.
Literally Persona 4
We have yet to Priest-of-Baal our neighbor so I'mma let that simmer while we wait for her next move. But in other news, we also played detective this week to try and find our missing recent convert. And by play detective, I literally mean that we walked around our whole area following his trail, talking to witnesses, the whole shabang. It was kind of awesome actually. Also, the homeless people here know literally everything. We showed a picture to this one guy on the street and were like "have you seen him around here" and he was like "oh yeah that's the guy who lives at [the place where he lives], has a problem in his right knee, has a twitching reflex, and has blood type O- right? Yeah he hasn't been seen in the square for the last 82 hours." And we were like "ok sir thank you have a good night".
Also, we're pretty sure she did another macumba because of a couple things that happened yesterday.
Man. She has no idea that she just picked a demon-fight with Elder Medeiros.
Literally Persona 4
We have yet to Priest-of-Baal our neighbor so I'mma let that simmer while we wait for her next move. But in other news, we also played detective this week to try and find our missing recent convert. And by play detective, I literally mean that we walked around our whole area following his trail, talking to witnesses, the whole shabang. It was kind of awesome actually. Also, the homeless people here know literally everything. We showed a picture to this one guy on the street and were like "have you seen him around here" and he was like "oh yeah that's the guy who lives at [the place where he lives], has a problem in his right knee, has a twitching reflex, and has blood type O- right? Yeah he hasn't been seen in the square for the last 82 hours." And we were like "ok sir thank you have a good night".
Also we never found him, which I guess makes us crappy detectives lol. But it's all chill cuz our old bishop who's a police officer found him, and we're gonna have a family home evening this week. So all's well that ends well. I guess that for now, I'll have to leave the detective trench coat in the suitcase until the world has yet another unsolvable case which needs to remain unsolved.
Literally John the Baptist
So, to top off an extremely tiring and exciting week, we experienced perhaps the greatest miracle I've ever seen: an efficient response from a bureaucratic paperwork system.
So our friend Aluiso has been waiting to be baptized literally since before I got here 4 months ago. The only thing stopping him was some paperwork which had to get processed so that he could get the green light. Then when we asked somebody to check on the paperwork, we found that it actually hadn't been submitted. So, we resubmitted it all, kept bugging our Mission President about it, and got a response in four days. Thus, we ended the week with his very touching baptism and confirmation by laying on of hands. It was fantastic, and his persistent faith the entire time I've been here has been very touching to me.
Literally the Ys Book 1 Credits Theme
Wow. An Ys soundtrack reference. What a highly specific cross section of old, nerdy, and knowledgeable in the turbografx game system library you'd have to be in order to get that one.
That's a wrap! Overall, a very interesting and also awesome week. Until the next one!
God is Good,
Elder Ebbert
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