Ebbert, Lawson

Whattup negãos,  I'm alive! And I'm getting "cada vez pior" at writing emails. But now that I'm adopting the stoic philosophy of Journaling, my email frequency should improve as well. I might even write another one this transfer!  So last transfer passed like half a kidney stone and half of one of those nerd gummy ball things. Lots of sweet experiences, and lots of acute pain. I learned a crap ton about pacience, psychology, the gospel, and cooking. I'm making some killer stir fry these days.  But I digress.  Unfortunately, I got transferred from beautiful Parelheiros to less-beautiful Capão Redondo. If I haven't lost the gift of tongues, Capão Redondo roughly translates to "big ol' round cap". That has basically nothing to do with the quality of the area: it's a big ol' round favela filled with pleasant people.  And also weed.  And maybe some other drugs.  So here's how the first two weeks went down: Leadership counsel Last week ...

Whattup cursed capybaras,  I have been exiled into the Jungle. I haven't had human contact in 2 weeks. To send this email, I climbed an açai tree and managed to get signal. My companion was slaughtered by monkeys 3 hours ago. Please send backup to my coordinates: 47,1912570, -52,8372796 So yeah. I'm in Parelheiros now, which is one of the farthest areas in our mission. And it's 99.99% jungle : we basically just work in this tiny city called Vargem Grande. So here's some of the goofy jungle shenanigans that's goin down: Captains log Well, for reasons known only to star command back at Kolob, I have been made a district leader. Which, for those of you unfamiliar with missionary terminology, means I'm just like a normal missionary except my life is harder and I'm responsible for everything that goes wrong in my companionship and 3 others.  Just kidding. I'm thrilled to participate in the beurocratic report processes of our mission and have to solve other pe...