Redemption Arc?

Whattup High-Golds,
Ok so basically I was lo-key miserable the last few weeks haha. BUT then this week I had a division with our district leader Elder Saline; so not only did I get to leave my house for a day but I got to talk a ton with Elder Saline (a proud Texan) and another American, Elder Slade, and they taught me a bunch of things which totally revitalized basically my whole perspective. So I'm just gonna talk about a couple of these lessons because fun fact; writing is not only a coping mechanism, it's also a digestive learning mechanism! 

Lesson 1: Be Joyful
In Preach My Gospel and in various other sources it talks about how a mission will be an experience of more joy than anything else. Suffice it to say that I hadn't really experienced that yet, and I think I was waiting for some kind of grand, awakening moment like "yes it has been exceedingly difficult and full of suffering but the existential joy of helping people with the Eternal welfare of their souls outweighs the difficulties" and like yeah there is a lot of existential joy to be found if you have an eternal perspective. But also, as the other American Elders had to tell me: "you're allowed to have fun". And, well it's all good to have fun playing games and whatever on P-days, specifically they helped me with seeing the fun in the work. Like, if I think about what I'm doing for even a second, it's totally insane. I'm living in Brazil, talking with random people on the street, and teaching the restored gospel in a language I barely function with. How freaking dope is that? Just taking a step back and being willing to laugh and smile a little bit has changed this entire experience. Turns out, trying to make something enjoyable also makes it not miserable. And now I'm kind of slapping myself; I can't believe I actually forgot to be happy. Ridiculous.

Lesson 2: Be Bold
Originally had this lesson titled 'stop taking crap' but I thought that was a little strong haha. I'm not saying to be confrontational; that's kind of like, the opposite of the gospel I'm here to teach. However, there is a distinct and significant difference between being patient, kind, and long-suffering, and being too cowardly to do what's right. Elder Slade sat me down and phrased it to me something like this: "You're still new. You're learning. But I promise you you'll learn portuguese, and I promise that you'll lose your fear of Man. You'll stop being afraid of your companion, of the opinions of other missionaries, of talking to people on the street, and the only thing you'll be afraid of is being upright before God."
Wow. This was also a great reminder to me because when you truly allow your perspective to be opened, fear is always an illusion. 'Fear is the mindkiller', if you will. This especially applies when people around you aren't doing what they should- sometimes you've gotta stand up and take charge. I'm going to attach my Cradle quote of the week here, so enjoy some life advice for dragons which also conveniently applies to people. If you've listened to the Cradle audiobooks, please imagine the following quote in the rich, life-changing tones of Travis Baldree. You know which character it is.

“A dragon does not allow fear to make his decisions for him,” He rumbled. “A dragon decides for himself.”

So... I'm trying to be bolder. Cast off fear. Lead by example. I'm not going to say I'm blazing the frontier yet, but I'll be darned if I'm not gonna make it eventually. Oh hey what a perfect transition into-

Lesson 3: Don't be Satisfied
This lesson comes to me this week courtesy of my beloved older sister, who I'm starting to realize actually has most of the traits I wish I had. Huh. Pretty sure 11 year-old me would pass out if I told him that. But anyways, that title might sound a little weird. And I'm not saying that being happy or content is bad; that's kind of the opposite of the first lesson. The idea of this lesson is that satisfaction is different from joy; for example, if somebody describes something as 'satisfactory' that implies that it could be better. If we become satisfied with our current state, regardless of whether it is good or bad, we are no longer progressing. We have to constantly hunger for more, constantly desire to progress; we have to be unsatisfied with where we are at. There is, of course, a flip side to this principle; an extraordinarily dangerous possibility of self-destructive self-criticism. And, if we don't measure and properly recognize our own growth, then this kind of attitude is just miserable. But I am thoroughly convinced that determined dissatisfaction and ambition, aimed in an eternal direction and measured by gratitude, joy, and honest recognition of progress relative to ourselves and not others, is a combination of traits that is unstoppable. It's a combination of traits which creates a positive cycle: we continually progress and improve, and we continually find joy in our progression and improvement. It is a combination of traits I want- so, it's a combination of traits I will develop.

This week was awesome with all this learning, but I certainly didn't instantly master all these principles. But now that I have them in mind, it feels like I hit a concrete point of growth where my entire realm of capacity and vision of potential suddenly expanded. Man, if only there was some kind of fictional work I could compare this to for easy understanding, and then scriptures to reference to tie up this email with a spiritual thought. That would be highly convenient, wouldn't it?

A Gospel of Progression
Unrelated to literally anything I just said, the gnomes who lie in wait under my Japanese rice pillow every night told me in a dream that my Cradle Quota for the week has gone up to several quotes and commentary, so here we are. This week's second quote is a certified Cradle classic:

"There are a million Paths in this world, but any sage will tell you they can all be reduced to one. Improve yourself."

I think this is even more significant in a spiritual context. Ours is not a gospel of low expectations or easy goals. If you know the ultimate goal, the endgame, then you also probably recognize how far you are from that point. But that's what's so exciting; we can all make it all the way. We have so much to learn, for this life and for the eternity to come. We are literally sons and daughters who can become endowed and invested to inherit everything our Father and Mother have. Just knowing his actual potential gave Moses strength to cast off the adversary (Moses 1:13). This kind of progression is one of the last topics which Joseph Smith taught in his life:"Here, then, is eternal life—to know the only wise and true God; and you have got to learn how to be gods yourselves... namely, by going from one small degree to another, and from a small capacity to a great one; from grace to grace, from exaltation to exaltation." And that's just... so exciting. When I get caught up in all the little nonsense that drags me down, if I remember who I am and where I'm going, it becomes a lot easier to be joyful; to be bold; to want to progress. After all, the Path doesn't end here, and neither does our little Cradle quote:

"You should know the rest. You improve yourself, but not for yourself alone. For a greater purpose."

Until the Next
Foosh. That was a bit longer and more serious than I like to make these. Ok that's actually a bold-faced lie, any crazed soul who actually reads these things knows that if there's anything I love, it's Cradle; and if there's a second thing I love, it's writing long emails. But I seriously felt like with a little bit of learning from those Elders and my sister, this week was a week of total triumph, especially after these difficult past few weeks. When I think about getting back out into the world and working, I feel like I've got lightning flowing through my blood. That's quite possibly a health condition I've developed- I ate three plates of rice, beans, and cow stomach on Friday for lunch, so you never know- but I'm want to attribute that feeling to newfound purpose and drive. I'm seriously pumped. This week is the end of my first transfer, so I'm already halfway through my training, and one more transfer closer to the end. Time is flying, and God-willing I'm going to devour this experience for everything it's worth before it's over.

God is good,
Elder Ebbert

P.S:
Q: So, does this count as a redemption arc?
A: No. The arc isn't finished.

P.P.S...

NEXT WEEK ON ELDER X EBBERT
MISSION 13: MUSIC FOR THE APOSTLE
MISSION 13.5: THE PATRIOT ACT

Gosh I really am a weeb aren't I




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