Ebbert, Lawson

Whattup Buccaneers, Rascals, and Scallywags, I promise I have a really great excuse for why I didn't send an email last week. My last P-day consisted of: -Talking to my family -Negotiating with the young single adults in our ward so that our new pirate ship could have a unicorn figurehead and I could be the captain of our pirate band -Watching the Chosen (season 3 is fire you guys) So unfortunately that did not give time to write the epic thesis paper of an email I had planned. But to make it up to you guys, I present the following poem I composed to reflect my experience of the last week: 8 Days Based on actual events On the first day the labors end and arrive the adverts singing Of cheese and chocolate; pizza to vend so it's ordered, and delivery comes ringing The second day, leftovers suffice To eat in morning and afternoon But without member lunch, extra money piles up So the third day we get pizza too The fourth day arrives, once again ride the tide Of yesterday's chil...

Whattup extremely generous present givers, Woah haha September 18! What an interesting day for my birthday UHHHHH I mean P-day to fall on hahaha! I sure hope nobody sends me money as a birthday present so that I can afford to go to college! P-day 1: P-day So last P-day was awesome. Our D&D campaign went completely insane as literally everything that could have gone wrong went wrong and we desperately attempt to escape prison with only minor casualties. And then after P-day we have a family home evening with members which included delicious pizza. So, basically a perfect day. P- day 2 and 3: Tuesday and Wednesday The days after P-day, we had a bunch of meetings and our weekly planning, which significantly reduced our actual 'sweat' working hours. Also we got trapped in like 3 hour long lessons- you guys cannot even fathom the length of time that an elderly brazilian can speak without even the slightest chance to get a word in. So relatively little work was accomplished, but...

Whattup Underdwellers, There's... not much to report this week. In terms of both crazy stories and also in terms of our area kkk. As the timeless adage says, it takes 6 firm commitments to put a zero in the area book reports. Like... I figured out how to play the Halo theme on my guitar? That was cool. Master Chef The only other really interesting thing that happened this week is that I have become the absolute master of making pasta and noodles. My top 3 recipes are peanut butter yakisoba, mac and requeijão, and pepper jelly yakisoba. Yakisoba is on that list twice because there's this 4 minute package thing in the supermarket we have which is super easy to make. Also, jello is really tasty. I made this jello today using a green apple energy drink (sorry mom) instead of water, so we'll see if that works because I don't know if you can use a carbonated soda to make jello? Will report next week on the success of the experiment. Return of the Nerds Technically this happen...

Whattup Fellowsaints, This week was awesome. I almost entirely recovered from my bout of sicknesses, and we started to see miracles at literally every turn. That's... basically it. The After-Sacrament Meeting We have this one guy who literally has been in the chapel 12 times but he hasn't been baptized yet. Why? Well, his wife is on the verge of bringing forth a child, his nephew is possessed by the devil, and also he doesn't live in our area of teaching. Not  literally  possessed by the devil by the way, though considering my experience thus far in Brasil I wouldn't put it past him. No, he just does really dumb stuff like beat and steal from his mom, which gives our friend a headache and lo-key makes him want to kill the nephew- which is lo-key fair. I would be ticked if somebody beat my mom. But anywho, he's in this pretty goopy situation all things considered, and well we can easily resolve the whole "living outside of our area" problem with a little ar...

Whattup glorious machines, The Purity of the Machine Apparently I hit 6 months on the mission! And to celebrate, my mortal flesh has betrayed me, and I have been ravaged by all courses of disease, weakness, and affliction. Or, in other words: I've had a cough ever since I arrived in my new area. But it was a really bad cough guys I promise- No but actually my body has been going kinda crazy. I did have a pretty bad cough until I unlocked this technique of hacking up all the gunk that was in my throat, but I also have had some other fun conditions like: -Being super hot for no reason -Headache -Nausea -Back pain -Unable to think(?) So it's been awesome. About halfway through the week, I read the following scripture in Mosiah 27, 5: "Yea, and all their priests and teachers should labor with their own hands for their support, in all cases  save it were in sickness , or in much want; and doing these things, they did abound in the grace of God." And for a moment I thought,...

Whattup Nerf Herders, So a couple days before transfers, we get a call from President Rollings. He talks with Elder Medeiros alone for a while to call him as an LZ and get the juice on what should happen to everyone in our district, and then I get called into the room where it happens. " Elder Ebbert! If nothing changes between now and tomorrow night, this next transfer you will leave your area..." Not very surprising. What he failed to mention is that we were getting pinkwashed by 2 sets of sisters :( "... and in your new area, though on paper you are going to be a Junior Companion.. ." That's a little weird way to phrase it. I'm pretty sure the transfer boards are digital now, not on paper. "... you are going to be placed with a missionary who has more tenure on the mission, but who I believe could benefit from excitement and diligence in the work, so you will play a large part in leading the area ." The puzzle snaps together. A thought passes th...