Testimony Borne On Angelic Overdrive Guitars

Whattup Apostate Skeletons,
I HAVE NO TIME AND I PROCRASTINATED, MISSIONARY WORK IS GREAT P DAY IS REALLY FUN ! !

District Council from two weeks ago
What happened two p days ago? Or Tuesday from two weeks ago? Lost to the void! 

We gave a training at district council. We did 4 ROLEPLAYS and all of them had a fun little condition (ie teach lesson 3 but you're only allowed to use scriptures or you're only allowed to ask questions, etc). Giving trainings is fun! Other missionaries, please teach good and don't be cringe! 

Also during the part where we practiced 'asking inspired questions' Sister Dos Santos broke out a bunch of prophet-inspired questions from the scriptures, such as:
Q: And now if ye are not the sheep of the good shepherd, of what fold are ye?
A: Behold, I say unto you, that the devil is your shepherd, and ye are of his fold;
Q: and now, who can deny this?
A: Behold, I say unto you, whosoever denieth this is a liar and a child of the devil.

Honorable mentions for prophets asking inspired questions goes to Alma 5:27, Alma 11:23-24, Jacob 7:10-11, Alma 30:44-45.

We also had interviews with president that day which was fun to see all the other missionaries. Also, found out that Elder Medeiros gave a priesthood blessing which ended up breaking a dude's legs back in Embu like 2 months later. I'm not gonna explain that.

Let Him Cook
Friday we got a new fogão, we can actually cook again! Also we had an amazing lunch with this one lady in the ward and she literally made us eat 5 plates of food and then we stopped and like 30 minutes later she made more food and made us eat again. It was really tasty but hooh boy I was sick afterwards.

Also, I'll be the last person to make fun other other religions- heaven knows ours has got to be one of the weirdest, that's why I love it- but I always have to laugh when I hear about some of the other christian churches here in Brazil. We have this one lady who we're teaching, the mom of Maria who I've talked about a few times, and in her church they have a very... interesting style of prayers. So we're trying to give her a priesthood blessing and she's out here giving us the amen and hallelujah, which made giving the blessing very difficult haha.

Also at night we managed to get a bunch of members together to visit this one guy who we're teaching and that was fun. Also fun to get away from councils and ward drama and just do some pure ministering with the members. Very heartwarming. Except for the fact that this safado wants to wait for his previously demon-possessed wife to recover from her sickness before he get's baptized, but I'm like 87% sure that his wife is going to cause more problems when she gets better and also they won't stop smoking but it's alright. At least we managed to get 1 more eternal in the chapel every week.

mission fast for a special event
Saturday we had an epic lunch with an RM in our ward, and he told us how he almost got sent home for sleeping over in other elders houses with only 14 days left on his mission and how he participated in spanish class just because the sister who taught the class was hot. The fubecagen is chilling though cuz this guy's really funny. Also we started a mission wide fast to prepare for the mission tour that we had! But that's another day, have patience.

Also Fransisca (the mom of Maria from the day before) was gonna say a prayer to ask God if she really needs to get baptized again in order to have an eternal family and then she got Joseph Smith'd right as she started her prayer and almost died. But if death thinks he can take our baptism from us he's clowning himself, so we rushed over and gave yet another enthusiastically amen'd blessing. Also, the other church that Fransisca used to go to happened to like, collapse in on itself on this very same day. So that's pretty cool, rip to the apostates 

Also also that night I got super sick out of nowhere, and then my comp healed me in like 1 minute. So that was fun.

Metroid Dread
Sunday is so... stressful for missionaries. Still have not managed to get the weekly coordination meeting going B) But the church meeting was mostly chill and free of cringe. We also spent like an hour with the secretaries figuring out stuff in the church system. The church just decided to duplicate Guilherme's baptism record and then send the second record to the abyss where the secretaries can't find it, and I'm the last guy to complain about dupe glitching our area book stats, but I guess the records need to be accurate or whatever so that there's no confusion in the Book of Life on the day of judgement. Eventually we found the Covenant of Artorias and managed to dig the glitched record out of the abyss, but it was quite the task.

I don't remember the context but we ended up watching that movie about John Tanner that the church made. Highly recommend it, you can find it on youtube.

BEST DAY EVER
ok we legit had a baller p day last week. The zone leaders came and Elder Santos and I talked about guitar. Then we went to the mall and ate food, and all the americans grouped up at the mcdonalds ice cream thing and traded crazy mission stories it was fun.

Afterwards we went back and I opened up the casino. That is, we all played card games and I was playing chill jazz music so everybody though it had casino vibes. But then we get to the best part: one of our LZs has 10 nerf guns, so we organized everybody into teams and had a chapel-wide nerf deathmatch. It was hilariously fun. Afterwards we played volleyball in the rain.

At night we went to visit one member of the bishopric and we had a cute little reading from 3 Nephi 11 and then the spirit was like "yo do this". So we watched the video "Behold Your Little Ones" and WOW does that video bring the spirit. And then we were like "so who has the spirit impressioned you to share the gospel with" and he was like "this friend I have, I'll mark a time for you guys to visit him" and we were like 'Chapter 13 moment' B)

Also the member had exactly two slices of this huge cake left that he gave to us. Miracles are real.

Mission Tour Day 1
Got my suit coat fixed after 2 transfers 

So we had the mission tour and I'm not even gonna try to explain what we learned cuz it was like a spiritual flood of information. If you wanna know the specifics you're gonna have to email me haha. Also had a very spiritual experience listening to the testimony of one of the missionaries who is going home this transfer. But we had a great lunch, I got to catch up with Elder Mahaffey but sadly none of the other CTM folks were in our in-person group. After the mission tour we got some food and stuff, and low key we were there for a long time, and then we crossed paths with president at the Acai shop haha. It felt a little bit like the spider man pointing meme. 

We finally went to go home and it took forever because sao paulo transit is terrible. But that's ok cuz it gave me a lot of time to talk to Elder Hughes; apparently his trainer is like a mega fubeca and he was ranting to me about it and I was like BOY DO I UNDERSTAND THAT so we had a nice brothahood moment there. Also at night we all stayed together and we got pizza and watched The RM, so that was pretty epic.

Mission Tour Day 2
Sooo apparently there was something weird in the food they gave us because all 6 of us in the chapel spent approximately half the night trying to sleep and the other half on a toilet. It was pretty freakin rough. In the morning I made a raspberry mousse for our district, which turned out alright cuz I didn't give it time to set up right. The sisters once again ambushed me and elder hughes setting up the TV Joseph Smith style (no tie, collar flared up), so we had to run and change haha. Then our whole district watched the rest of the mission tour, except it was on zoom and so we basically just goofed around the whole time, ate popcorn and cookies, and tried not to fall asleep. Also my very own trainer bore his testimony during this session and he talked about how obedience to the missionary standards had blessed him to be able to complete his mission with honor this time around, that made me... a little upset. Then they cut off the meeting all of a sudden so we had an impromptu devotional from Sister Dos Santos. Then I slept like the whole afternoon cuz I didn't get any sleep the night before lol

The Lost Chapters
Found out yesterday that somebody started a new apostate sect from our church which claims to have all the lost pages from the Book of Mormon, so that's pretty sick.

But speaking of lost pages, I skipped like half of the days from the last two weeks because I'm running out of time. Why do I write like I'm running out of time? Well, I am a non-stop procrastinator, and due to the aforementioned p day I was a little busy. Also, all the days I skipped we just tried to find people to teach and nothing really interesting happened, so you're not missing out.

But yeah, that is gonna do it for this week, wishing you all a wonderful week until the next one!

God is Good,
Elder Ebbert
























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