The New Apostle Is British
I know the church is true... but after hearing that they called a redcoat to be an Apostle...
My completely serious and unironic hatred for the blighted gentile nation we call Britain has resurged recently with the announcement of the new Apostle, Elder Patrick Kearon. Now let me be clear: I love and support the brethren in all that they do. But really? They expect me to make it through a whole general conference talk listening to a British accent? Even worse is that his last conference talk was actually pretty good. I guess we'll all just have to manage.
But all I'm saying is this: if Britain wasn't cringe, God would have sent Lehi there instead a "promised and choice land above all other lands"
BAIANO
But anyways, tuesday I had a dope division with Elder Souza who is from bahia. We had a lot of fun with this member in our ward who is named Rogerio (he's the guy who sells terere to the whole mission) and we marked Fransisca to be baptized on sunday B)
At night we bought pizza and then at like 10:27 as we were lying down Elder Souza came to me and was like "Elder did you go in the chapel?" and I was like "no... why?" and he was like "cuz the lights turned on o_o" so we boarded up our house and watched the lights in the chapel turn on and off because somebody entered the chapel at 10:30 at night. So we definitely thought we were being robbed and we called bishop and were like "bishop somebody is here they're gonna kill us please help" and he was like "chill out dogs its just my counselor" so we left the house and talked with the counselor from the bishopric cuz he had to come get the church ready for a funeral the next day. Definitely was not secretly hiding my scissors for self defense.
Master Chef Morning
Wednesday we had our super epic district council. I spent the whole morning baking haha to make a lemon mousse and this ginormous chocolate/oreo/sweetened condensed milk cake. We did the council in the room with the synth organ so I played us a jazzy rendition of silent night for the opening hymn, and we closed off with a rousing rendition of called to serve. Then everybody brought their stuff to sign and whatnot because it was Sister Dos Santos' last district council :(
Afterwards we learned that Fransisca was super sick and almost died again. Once again we kicked death out of the house with the priesthood and had an epic service project with Rogerio clearing out weeds. I got to swing a machete around like a maniac it was dope.
More Problems
Fransisca was once again healed... but her super cringe son showed up in the house and was making a mess of everything. We literally tried to teach him once and he was like "if you guys open any book that isn't the bible I'm going to leave because that isn't from God" and I nearly went Hugh Nibley on this man but I teach the restoration with the bible anyways so we just tried to teach him in between being interrupted literally every other sentence. But anywho he was messing up stuff again so we left them alone and prayed for him to leave.
At night we gave a really spiritual blessing to one of the counselors in the bishopric because the ward can be tough sometimes, and then we watched The Saratov Approach with was excellent. Highly recommend.
Papai Noel
Saturday was our ward's christmas activity which was dope de mais. Rogerio was papai noel (santa) which was hilarious, we ate a ton of food, we pranked the ward young men's counselor by pouring fanta in his rice while he wasn't looking, and we met some new people who the ward members invited. Thats... basically it.
Day of the Lord
Sunday was once again lo key stressful and once again we did not have the ward coordination meeting :| But we're chilling. Also we had one old lady in the ward track us down to give us a reference and she was like "yeah this guy lives in another ward but you should talk to him" and we were like "uh why don't you talk to that ward about it wouldn't that be more convenient?" and she was like "no but they don't have missionaries in that ward, just Sisters" and I was like "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the Sisters are missionaries ma'am" and she was like "no" so that was kind of weird. The dude responded but he didn't want us to share with him so she just ended up sending his contact information to the sisters anyways. Definitely for the better.
Also Rogerio (not the member, the recent convert) and Marcelo got the priesthood! That was kind of cool. People need to read the General Handbook so that they know how ordinances are performed. Unfortunately, though Fransisca was marked for this day, her son was being a goon and they were not able to come to church. So we're actually gonna head over there today and I'm highly considering cleaning some dust off my shoes in front of this dingus.
In the afternoon we went out to work with three of the young men in the ward and had a blast. We ended off the night with a crazy rainstorm and one of the brothers from the ward gave us a car ride like a demon through the rain, thank heavens for the gift of divine protection because it was looking pretty grim with this man's driving. After we got home at night I had some absolutely baller studies, I highly recommend "The Ten Blessings of the Priesthood" by Bruce R. McConkie (October 1977) and "Illuminating the Sermon at the Temple & Sermon on the Mount" by John W. Welch.
Epilogue
A bit of a shorter email this week, overall epic but tiring week. This week is transfers so it's very possible that next week I will be reporting to you from another area, but we'll see. Love you all and have a great week!
God is Good,
Elder Ebbert
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